


post mortem

by vesper_rose



Category: Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:01:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesper_rose/pseuds/vesper_rose
Summary: A possibility of what happens after the end of Requiem for a Dream.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I am a sucker for angsty dark and depressing stuff. As evidenced by enjoying the movie and the fact that I wrote this.

Like a piece of meat in a butcher shop - they carved him up and (sliced) off his arm. When Harry realized the misfortune that had befallen him, he felt a surge of despondency and wondered if things could possibly get any worse. 

Days passed, weeks passed, somehow things fell together and Harry was on a bus back to New York. He hadnt been able to find out Tyrones fate but what did it matter, everything was fucked and it felt like nothing really mattered, nothing really mattered at all now, he just focused on making it through another minute and another one. Harry was self conscious about his recently acquired deformity and had taken some rudimentary measures to try to make it less obvious - it was painfully obvious and it didnt help anything so the very least he could do was attempt to hide it. He found an old jacket in someones trash, some discarded newspapers and stuffed the left sleeve then pinned the cuff inside the pocket so it looked like he was whole even though that was far from the truth - physically and otherwise. He thought people were staring, he thought everyone was staring at him and laughing in their heads about the pathetic dope fiend who was missing an arm and it was all so depressing he shrank into the seat as the scenery blurred by outside the window like the passing of time but then again he felt the time slow so acutely it was frozen and spinning all at once. He couldnt keep track of how long he had been on the bus while it flung itself through cities and the spaces in between all the way up to the big apple finally it seemed like forever but there was the Port Authority sign and the vehicles the yellow taxis their lights glaring but he didnt have the money for a cab and he wasnt even sure where he was going so he stumbled off the bus in a haze of despair and relief just taking it all in what he hadnt seen for what seemed like so long. Finally he made his way to the subway and mindlessly he got on the train and he made his way to his mothers apartment underneath a cloudy morning sky. Due to the weather the ladies werent outside getting the sun and Harry was secretly relieved because he didnt want to talk to them he didnt want to see them at all out of shame he had become an absolute failure which just added to all the things that had gone wrong in his life.

The building seemed oddly hollow but Harry made his way up to his mothers floor and then down the hallway to her apartment and knocked because he no longer had a key but no one answered so Harry waited but still she didnt come and he felt guilty like she always made him feel guilty that he neglected her and stole her tv set all those times in what seemed like a lifetime ago. But its okay Ma he thought because I got ya the new set to make up for it still he thought it wasnt enough and there wasnt a thing he could do to properly repent for what all hed done. Still no answer so Harry went across the hall and knocked on the door and said its Harry Ada Im looking for my ma she didnt answer the door is she out today? The door opened and Ada looked shocked to see Harry reappear after all these months and wondered what hed been up to but she wasnt able to hide the sadness and invited Harry in and to please sit down because its not easy what Im going to tell ya Harry your Ma got committed shes at Bellevue in the psychiatric ward oh Harry Im so sorry about it Im so sorry it was those diet pills Harry thats what did her in  
Harry was taken aback and he didnt know what to do with the news the only thing that came to mind was he had to see her so he rushed out of Adas apartment and back onto the subway until he came upon Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital in all its coldfaced glory and he went in and asked at the desk for Sara Goldfarb Im her son Harry he said to the receptionist who smiled pleasantly but emptily at him and looked through a binder on her desk then told him to go to the third floor. Harry made his way to the third floor and asked a nurse there wheres Sara Goldfarb Im her son Harry I want to see her please and the nurse looked at him with a concerned face and he didnt like how people pitied him even though that was the perfectly normal reaction. Harry saw his mother slumped over on a chair and the tv was on and the sound droned out seeping into the air but he wasnt paying attention to the tv as he noticed his poor ma all pale and gray and her hair shorn and her eyes vacant and Harry walked over to her and said Its me Ma its Harry arent you glad to see me again but she just stared ahead vacantly into nothingness and Harry was overcome with despair again and he couldnt take it and he left despondently and he didnt have any money so there was no way he would be able to make things feel just a little better even if for only a glance of time  
It was cool but not cold and Harry sank into a bench a few blocks down the street infront of some apartment building and he wondered about Marion and where she was and what she was doing and if she had any stuff for him because it was all so fucked up and he just wanted to get away. After some indeterminable time he got up and made his way to her place and knocked on the door and called her name. But it wasnt Marion who answered the door. Instead it was a scowling middle aged man with a food encrusted beard who snapped at Harry and said I dont know no Marion now fuck off and stop botherin me and Harry backed away apologizing and wondered what happened to Marion.

Harry didnt know what to do with himself because now he was all alone with no Marion and no Tyrone and his mother wasnt even a shell of herself which made him feel even guiltier that he hadnt been able to prevent her downfall. Youre such a bad son Harry he thought you did this its your own fault your mothers stuck in some psychiatric hospital dump. Harry was (amazed) that even when his mother wasnt even half sane she could still make him feel guilty. He wanted a good place to think and so he dragged himself back down into the subway tunnels and waited for a train to take him to the pier where he had dreamed of Marion in the dress and the ocean expanding infinitely in the distance. The platform was crowded and Harry edged closer to the front of the throng so he could be the first to get on the train because it was important where he was going. Harry waited and the crowd waited with him for the train. The tunnel filled with the rattling sound of a train approaching the platform and Harry could see the lights in front growing closer in the tunnel and suddenly he was jostled and suddenly his feet no longer touched the ground and he panicked as he fell backwards and into the path of the train which was rushing through the tunnel. It was a quick and painless death. Harry never got to the pier but in those last moments he thought he saw Marion somewhere in the distance and she was looking at him lovingly and then it was all gone just like that. The story of the accident made the evening news and Sara Goldfarb unknowingly watched the tv as the news reporter gestured behind him at the police tape in the subway station and the stopped train and mentioned Police have not released the name of the victim. They had scraped his mangled remains from the train and the tracks.   
The next day the station was open again and the incident was deemed an accident with no signs of foul play and the trains rushed on through the subterranean veins of New York just as always, unfeeling and indifferent because they were only inanimate objects after all.

**Author's Note:**

> In the spirit of "Hubert Selby Jr does not use apostrophes," I have attempted to mirror the writing style of the book. (and I'm kind of surprised there isn't more fic about it)   
> This was based on a combination of the book and movie; the book provides some additional details that the movie doesn't. Also, pretty much all of my knowledge about NYC is from watching the various Law and Order shows. I just kind of put this down without a whole lot of editing so it's probably not perfect. The killed by a train part is not my original idea and I took it from an episode of a show that Vincent D'Onofrio guest starred on in the 90s (where his character got killed in a similar manner) but I thought it was kind of fitting. Ever since I saw that episode I've always wanted to incorporate a similar scenario into a fic somehow.)


End file.
